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Discussion

TOEFL Writing
(9)

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Writing topic-33 - If I receive a gift of money I would definitely buy a piece of jewelry which I like. I wish to spend the money on a valuable thing, so buying jewelry worth more for me than spending the whole money on the concert. There are few reasons for using the money for buying my favorite necklace. I am really fond of jewelry. I wish to have jewelry of different designs, variety like necklace, bangles, ear rings. Few months back I saw a necklace. It was just amazing. I wanted to buy it at that moment only. Unfortunately, the price was too high for me to purchase that. That necklace has become my dream necklace as it was of the type I have always thought for. So, this would be the best chance for me to have that necklace. Moreover, in winter I am going to attend the marriage of my cousin. I will wear my necklace to look more stunning. It will be of use even in the future too. Buying jewelry is never a waste because it adds to our economy. Gold is a part of property that we possess. On the other hand spending money on the concert seems wastage. Also I have no interest in such concerts. I attended a concert last year by paying a good amount of money. I thought that concert to be the best opportunity to meet my favorite singer but I couldn�t because these concerts are too crowded. So I was disappointed and would not repeat the mistake. Buying a piece of jewelry, which is my dream necklace, will provide satisfaction and pleasure to me. I won�t regret on my decision. In addition to this I can also sell the necklace when the price of gold rises and purchase more jewelry. The designs and fashion trends also keep on changing. So it will be affordable as well as easy for me to exchange the items. So, these are the reasons that why I would spend the money in buying a piece of jewelry I like rather than spending the money for buying tickets for a concert.

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Martin B Victor

This is good and interesting and I like what you said about the necklace you saw. You need to work on making things a bit more concise as well as grammar. Overall, this is a good job despite grammar and the not writing concisely. I really like what you said about the concerts. Good job contrasting the two.