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TOEFL Writing
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Topic : If you could change one important thing about your hometown,what would you change?Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. >>>>My hometown,Ludhiana,is one among the most developed and modern cities of India.It is known for its fertile land on one hand and its advanced industries on the other hand.Ludhiana is often called as Manchester of India because of its high scale hosiery industry.Other famous industries of Ludhiana are its bicycle manufacturing units,scrap units and the steel forging units.Though our city is moving at a fast pace towards modernization of its industries but one thing that is left behind is the network of roads connecting its different parts and condition of these road networks is one important thing that I would like to change. >>There are many reasons that have lead to the present condition of its roads.Due to increase in population,their has been tremendous growth in the number of automobiles in the city.But the roads are not well developed and maintained well enough.The roads of some areas with great traffic problems are too narrow and baldy require to be widened to handle the traffic problems.Traffic problems are sometimes so severe that the vehicles remain jammed for many hours.Whereas in some parts the two-wheeler vehicles,cars as well as large trucks with trailers are seen moving over a single lane which is quite dangerous for the people driving through these cities.Also,some of the railway crossings along the outskirts of the city still do not have any kind of barriers and this results in many fatal accidents.In one such recent accident on a foggy morning of winter season,a school bus carrying 23 school children was rammed by a speeding train.In this accident 9 students and the bus driver died whereas 11 children were injured.The administration must learn a lesson from such horrific accidents.During the monsoon season,some roads are often logged with rain water resulting in more damage to the roads.Such roads also bring the vehicles moving over them in bad shape. >>Though the Municipal Corporation,the administration responsible for maintenance of these roads has started taking some steps to abolish the traffic problems but they are still slow in doing so.They have constructed many new fly-overs,widened many roads of the city upto three as well as four lanes.The police has also come up with more strict rules.But still a lot of work is still needed in order to eradicate the poor condition of road network in the city.

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Martin Victor

Good Job Jaswinder. Very good. Overall grammar appears to be good and despite some errors of word usage and sentence structure, this essay is fairly clear and detailed